Im upset as usual, but this time I actually know the reason. I messed up. Big time. I learned a huge lesson from it though; always treat the people you truly care about like they are going to leave your life tomorrow. Show them you love them when you can, because you never know when they might walk away. Im begging for forgiveness but lets face it thats not going to happen. What i did is unforgivable. Im just hoping I will meet someone as amazing as the person who left me…if thats even possible. I wanted exactly what he was, someone caring, thoughtful, sweet, kind, and gave me the kind of love I thought i deserved. He made me smile everyday and i always looked forward to seeing him. He was perfect…But of course I have to go and mess it up like usual. Now that he is gone i feel like a part of me left with him…

I wish I could be pretty, even if it was only for a day. I would love to experience what life would be like. Would people be nicer to me, would people actually notice me, would they actually like me. I disgust myself. Every time I look in the mirror I want to throw up I am so ugly. I couldn’t be fatter, have an uglier face, have any smaller boobs. I dont deserve to be here im not good enough.